Even Asda are against me!!!
Wifey received this letter this morning.
Dear Mrs. Donnyblogger,
Whilst we thank you for your valued custom, the Manager of our store in Doncaster is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.
4. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
5. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
6. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti-depressants were.
7. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
8. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
9. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."
And; last, but not least:
10. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Asda Stores Ltd.
